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Don't know who to text at 3 AM? Push the button, sis.
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October 23 - November 21
I am writing to you from October twenty twenty-seven to remind you that this corporate drama will eventually pass. That absolutely incompetent man in the office, whom everyone secretly despises, secured an undeserved promotion today, and your only defense mechanism is posting passive-aggressive Instagram stories. Instead of actually doing your job, you spend the afternoon uploading melancholic Lana Del Rey lyrics while a freezing, biting autumn wind rattles your window. You keep checking your viewer list every five minutes, desperately hoping that specific muscular guy from the gym will finally notice your profound aesthetic suffering. A year from now, you will laugh out loud at how much precious energy you wasted on this pathetic virtual revenge. Put your phone down, stop obsessively stalking your ex's new boyfriend, and return to the real world before your profile becomes a digital graveyard.